when people give me compliments I feel like a vending machine trying to accept a wrinkly dollar and it’s just really frustrating for everyone involved
I’ve never related to anything more in my life
And I never know what I’m supposed to spit out in return for said crumply dollar bill. I don’t know what sort of vending machine I’m supposed to be. =\
-give them a different dollar back! “I like your shoes” for “your hair looks great today”
-give candy (candy is thanks) “I like your shoes” “thank you! Me too.”
-EAT THE DOLLAR. “I like your shoes” “yes they are great for stomping on my enemies”
Sleeping Warrior AU: Aurora falls in love with Mulan and Ping, not realizing they are the same person.
Oh my god, how well is this thing done???? THIS IS ADORABLE.
this is so incredibly well done, holy crap *___*
i have an idea in my head where thor is just like. painfully incapable of being cissexist.
like some transphobic reporter asks him abt his sexuality and he’s “i have been attracted to many of your midgardian genders” and “what” and “my current paramor is genderqueer” “are they male or female” “they are neither of those two genders, that is what i have just said!” “oh well what were they born as" "oh no, dear friend, u appear to be confusing genderqueer with genderfluid! the lady mystique assures me that these are two very different things, [extremely extended explanation]"
oh my gosh yes
"but what are they biologically?”
"…they are human."
oh my god
"But what is between their legs?!"
"That is not of your concern, but on a good day, myself!"
"on a good day, myself!"
I’m 20 years old and I still can’t spell unessarcaryccery
a shirt has one Collar, two Sleeves
you dear sir, have changed my life
adlergasm replied to your post: I want a mutant, who’s like this awesome engineer,…and they have this one master creation and they just stare at it dumbfounded because THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT IS. and then someone strolls along and is like “why did you make a toaster?”
And it’s one of those fancy ones with the egg poacher, and the ham warmer.
And you flip it over and it’ll toast your wieners and buns.
And the first time someone uses it, they propose marriage to the Engineer.
I have almost DEFINITELY read this fic.
— Thor not pressing it gently (via askloki-supervengers111)
on a scale from the lightning thief to catching fire how accurate was your book to movie adaptation
guys. Stewart Little.
"i’m not kissing you!"
colonel philips is an actual national treasure
i wonder how val would feel about her title being used like that
$10 says she’d respond by first punching red skull in the face and...
- buyn asked:"#I THOUGHT STEVE'S SHIELD WAS ALL WE HAD OF THAT" And T'challa just looks at him and says, "No. It's still all you have of that."
"my vibranium. you guys don’t get any DON’T BE ENTITLED WHINY BABIES THIS IS MY VIBRANIUM IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY VIBRANIUM MY PEOPLE...
I was front of house staff, light board operator, and an actor tonight. Well, I was only in one scene, and it was only because someone dropped out,...
every time i hear the “where are we going?” “the future” exchange all i can think of is “FORESHADOWING BURN GOOD THING THERE’S ICE”